Blacks / Masculinity / Men / Parenting / Sexuality

Black Gay Men’s Story about Doing their Daughters’ is really about Parenting, Masculinity, and Race

Boy and his father

Boy and his father


Last year I posted on social media about the couple Kaleb and Kordale Lewis who caused a storm because of a picture they put on the web. It was an image of them doing their daughters’ hair for school.

The image went viral. Hundreds, possibly thousands, of comments followed. Here they are in a new ad for Nikon.

I believe the most important thing in a kid’s life is a fully present parent or caregiver. Food is necessary for survival. But the unwavering love of a parent – you can’t best that. Research supports me. If this true then, it shouldn’t matter if the parents are queer.

But it does.

It matters in the US and the Rest of North America, in Russia and many parts of Europe, in the Far East and Middle East, and it so matters in Africa.

You know why it matters? It matters because homophobia is very much alive.  And it can get violent. Homophobia comes not only from individuals. States, religions, workplaces, schools, sports teams, and all sorts of structures and spaces can be overtly and subtly discriminatory and oppressive for LGBTQI subjects.

It matters because this is not a story only about sexuality.

That’s the reason anti-racist, sexuality positive, gender critical men and women must keep the pursuit of sexual justice, alongside other forms of justice, in their sights. That’s why I would like you to watch this. And read their story here from if you missed it first around.

It matters because it reveals that a story on two gay black men raising three daughters is also about parenting, masculinity, and race. Because these issues are entwined with each other. Because our lives as men are never, ever, simply about our biological maleness. Same with women and biological femaleness. Never, ever, simply about being Africans, blacks, whites. And never ever simply about our status as parents.


One thought on “Black Gay Men’s Story about Doing their Daughters’ is really about Parenting, Masculinity, and Race

  1. So because ones natural instinct is to vomit or look away or find perverse at sight of two male kissing or seeing transgender that is considered homophobia? Ha. Wow the level of reasoning and logic your community uses to justify your way of life is outstanding.

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