Blacks / Children / Class / Men / Sexuality

Money, Men, Women, Some Kind of Love

“Many rich black parents of the North make the mistake of associating their hard-earned economic freedom, with their children’s supposedly unquestioned entitlement to it. This misconception becomes dangerous when these elite black individuals raise their children – particularly their male children – with traditional ideas of manhood coupled with the constant spoon-feeding of money. This is why rich black male adolescents of the North  – such as Dominique – carry the emotional entitlement of “true manhood”, yet, are not able to conduct themselves as “true men” because the consistent and easy availability of their parent’s wealth diminishes that ethic. What is even more tragic about this kind of relationship the elite black middle-class have with their children is that it is going to paralyse their children – particularly their male children – from establishing their own strong sense of self-ethic; work-ethic; and healthy financial & sentimental legacies. Just like many young rich black adolescents, Dominique exerts his supposed power through abusing his parent’s wealth, abusing the women in his life, and most tragically, abusing himself. Many young black elite male adolescents of the North are gradually being paralysed by the burden of privilege.”

Money doesn’t make you immune from tolerating abuse or being abusive. Money won’t make you a better parent or person. Don’t get me wrong. Money is good because you can afford to buy expensive whisky and stay at five-star hotels, but it don’t make you smarter, affectionate, or live a meaningful life.

Can you relate to that? It doesn’t matter. What I like about this piece is how it points out that violence against women is not poor people’s problem. It affects most of society, although the prevalent is that everything is beautiful and cosy in the big houses and beachfront apartments. Wrong. Money, beauty, and good clothes won’t save you. Only the work of liberating yourself from warped ideas of love, from self-injurious ideas of what it means to be woman or man or queer, only that kind of freedom will.

Still, what the writer underplays is that the problem is as much how parents raise daughters as how they raise sons. And yet, even if you don’t agree with everything in it, I highly recommend that you read the the piece from which I have extracted this. It’s from a blog called SurbubanZulu pressed by Lelo Macheke. Good writing.

Read the full piece on ‘the culture of “love” among the rick kids of northern Johannesburg here.

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