Black Gay Men’s Story about Doing their Daughters’ is really about Parenting, Masculinity, and Race

  Last year I posted on social media about the couple Kaleb and Kordale Lewis who caused a storm because of a picture they put on the web. It was an image of them doing their daughters’ hair for school. The image went viral. Hundreds, possibly thousands, of comments followed. Here they are in a … Continue reading →

So that the World Can Be a Little More Kinder and a Little Less Prejudiced, Do Your Part

All of it – holding him in my arms, changing his nappies, rocking him to sleep, feeling bad with him when he is feeling bad, and feeding him; feeling scared when he has a high fever, taking him to the clinic for shots, bathing him, and potty training him; wiping his bum, playing with him, listening to him learn words, and all the other little things one does and experience when raising a child – opens my eyes and heart and mind and soul. Continue reading →

Man, Show Your Daughter that Women Don’t Need Men to Move their Furniture

How does an African man prove to his daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture? Actually, I don’t know. Do you? The blogger at Hope Avenue doesn’t say anything about African men. But it has something new African men can think of when thinking about their daughters, and may even sons. They can learn that … Continue reading →

How I Came To Be Interested in the Development of Racial Identification in Black and White Children

 At several points in my career I have been asked, and at other times have volunteered, how I came to be interested in the research subjects I write on. Before I say how I came upon these interests, first let me say what those interests are. My work has tended to revolve around mainly three areas: race, men, sexuality. I write about many … Continue reading →

Why Is No One Mentioning Capitalist Patriarchal Militarization?

There has been quite a brouhaha in South Africa after 13 South African National Defence Force (SANDF) soldiers were killed in Bangui, Central African Republic (CAR) on Saturday 23 March. 27 more South Africans suffered injuries. The number of Seleka rebels, many of whom are shown in pictures to be boys and young men, is … Continue reading →

The Absence of Violence is the Result of Mutual Nurturance, not High Halls and More Policing

It is fact that many South African children are fatherless. The two main reasons for this are death and dumping. The reasons are connected to each other. Both arise out of and contribute towards the hegemonic form of masculine identity. Both are connected to a third reason still: the uncommonness of nurturing fathers and lack … Continue reading →

Men Who Speak With Fists: Pearlie Joubert

Five years ago this month the journalist Pearlie Joubert wrote this article for the Mail & Guardian (http://mg.co.za/article/2007-11-19-men-who-speak-with-fists). I met Pearlie for the first time last week. During our conversation slash interview slash ideas-storm about a project on “how to start a revolution”, she was reminded by something I said about the article and promised to send … Continue reading →

Why I Don’t Understand Black People, and Why You Too Shouldn’t Pretend To

Don’t Pretend to Understand Black People, even if you are Black. It Takes Learning. Continue reading →